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Writer's picturePatricia Waxler

Graceful Goodbyes

Maintaining Positive Departures: Why Grace and Professionalism Matter On The Way In…and On The Way Out


Jane was a no-drama, reliable, consistent top performer on her team for years. She had great relationships with her teammates as well as leaders at all levels within the organization. Recently Jane decided to shake things up in her professional life and accepted a job with a start-up. Risky? For sure, but Jane was at a point where she felt if she ever was going to disrupt herself, it was now, and if things went well, the financial upside would be worth it.


When Jane shared with her immediate supervisor, someone she considered not only a mentor but a friend, that she would be leaving, the news was met with shock, anger and accusation. The reaction from the Director was worse: “I thought you were smarter than this.” “You are not the same person I hired”. “I am very disappointed in you”. He had scolded her, like a child.


An organization where Jane had felt at home and appreciated, worked among people she felt were more like friends than colleagues had, in an instant, transformed into a transactional relationship: she was only worthy, of value, if she was one of them, contributing to their bottom line. 


As a leader, when an employee, particularly a top performer, announces they are leaving for a different opportunity, a new chapter, it's natural for all kinds of feelings to come up: anger, fear, uncertainty, dread, maybe [if we’re being honest] even a little envy. This is where a leader’s self-awareness and emotional intelligence become critical skills to have developed, and like a muscle, continue to develop so they are strong and powerful when needed. A great quote from Viktor Frankl resonates: ”Between stimulus and response, there is space. In the space is our power to choose our response.” Working with a coach can help leaders hone these required skills so that they can take a beat in that "space" and consider how they want to respond to have the best possible outcome.


In today's competitive job market, top talent is constantly sought after. When a high-performing employee decides to move on to a new opportunity, it's crucial for employers to handle the situation with grace and professionalism. This approach not only benefits the departing employee but also safeguards the company's reputation and fosters a positive work environment.  One significant reason to prioritize positive departures is “The Boomerang Effect”. Statistics show a growing trend of employees returning to former employers. A study by LinkedIn found that 40% of professionals have rejoined a previous company. Cultivating a positive and respectful departure experience significantly increases the likelihood of these talented individuals returning in the future. 


Key Strategies for a Graceful Departure:

When a top employee shares that they are leaving for another opportunity, it’s essential to respond with a mix of professionalism, gratitude, and support. Here’s a good framework for what to say:


  • Express Gratitude "Thank you for sharing this with me. First and foremost, I want to say how much I appreciate all the hard work, dedication, and impact you’ve had on [team/project/company]. Your contributions have made a significant difference, and it’s been a pleasure working with you."

  • Acknowledge Their Decision "While we’re going to miss you, I completely understand your decision to take this next step in your career. It sounds like an exciting opportunity, and I’m genuinely happy for you."

  • Show Support "If there’s anything I can do to help with your transition or even as you move forward in your new role, please don’t hesitate to reach out. I’d be happy to support you in any way I can."

  • End on a Positive Note "You’ve set a high bar here, and your legacy will be felt even after you leave. Let’s make sure we stay in touch—I’d love to hear how things go in your new chapter.” And if you express these lovely parting words, please do in fact keep in touch. The authenticity of following up in a month, asking how things are going not only dispels lip service, it strengthens the relationship, and serves as a reminder to the former employee of your strong employer brand.


Benefits of a Graceful Departure

  • Enhanced Company Reputation: A positive departure experience for top employees spreads through professional networks. Treating departing employees with respect and appreciation builds a strong employer brand, attracting future top talent. 

  • Reduced Risk of Negative Publicity: When employees feel disrespected or mistreated during their departure, they are more likely to share negative experiences with others, potentially damaging the company's reputation. [To this point, Jane shared what happened to her with my friend, who then shared it with me, which is how I learned about her experience. I had never heard of this company prior to this, but this one unfortunate interaction informed my opinion.]

  • Improved Employee Morale: Witnessing a respectful departure process boosts morale among remaining employees. It demonstrates that the company values its people, their professional growth and development and fosters a positive and supportive work environment. 

  • Smoother Transition: A well-managed departure allows for a smoother transition of responsibilities, minimizing disruption to ongoing projects and ensuring business continuity. 

  • Knowledge Transfer: A gracious departure provides an opportunity for the departing employee to share valuable knowledge and insights with their colleagues, ensuring a smooth handover and minimizing knowledge gaps.


In today's dynamic job market, treating top employees with respect and professionalism during their departure is not just a courtesy; it's a strategic imperative. By fostering positive departures, companies can enhance their employer brand, reduce the risk of negative publicity, improve employee morale, and even pave the way for potential re-hiring in the future.



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