Last week, I wrote about agency: Trusting yourself enough to act on what you know to be true. The word that matters most in that sentence may be act. Because insight alone doesn't change a narrative. You can know you're capable. You can recognize your strengths. You can understand the patterns your life has revealed about who you are. You can even begin to trust yourself again. But eventually, you have to do something with what you know. Speak up in the meeting. Have the conv

Last week, I wrote about a question I often ask women I coach: What does this reveal about who I am? Because our accomplishments aren't just proof of what we've done. They're clues to who we are. But recognizing what's true about yourself is only part of the work. Eventually, that knowledge asks something of you. You know you're a woman who can navigate difficult conversations. Will you have this one? You know you're a woman who advocates for what matters. Will you speak up n

I hear some version of this all the time. A woman tells me about a difficult project she led. Competing priorities. Difficult personalities. An impossible deadline. She figured it out. And then, almost immediately, she says: “But honestly, I was just doing my job.” And there it is. She remembers what happened. But she misses what it reveals. We spend a lot of time documenting what we've done. Projects completed. Goals reached. Problems solved. Teams led. Challenges navigated.

Last week, someone left a comment on one of my posts that has stayed with me. We were talking about confidence, and he shared that confidence is rooted in trust. Just as we trust a chair because it has supported us before, we learn to trust ourselves through repeated experience. That conversation sent me down an unexpected path. I came across the Latin word recognoscere, which means "to know again." I can't stop thinking about it. Maybe that's what so many accomplished women

Confidence isn't the first step. The first step is evidence. For years, I believed confidence came first. ~Once I felt confident, I'd speak up. ~Once I felt confident, I'd pursue the opportunity. ~Once I felt confident, I'd make the change. Coaching hundreds of women has taught me something different. Confidence rarely comes first. Evidence does. The women I coach don't suddenly become more capable. They begin seeing what has been true all along. ~They remember the moments th

Our brains are remarkable. They're also a little unfair. Most of us can remember a piece of criticism from years ago with surprising clarity. But ask us to recall five moments when we made a meaningful difference at work, and suddenly our minds go quiet. There's a reason for that. Our brains are naturally wired to notice threats more than triumphs. We replay mistakes. We dwell on criticism. We move quickly from one accomplishment to the next without taking time to recognize w

One of the first assignments I give every coaching client is deceptively simple: Create five STAR stories. Think of moments when you made something better, solved a problem, influenced a decision, navigated a challenge, or achieved a meaningful result. Describe the Situation, Task, Action, and Result—supported by facts whenever possible. Simple assignment. Remarkably difficult. Not because my clients haven't accomplished impressive things. Because so many accomplished people

Let's talk about kitchens. Specifically, my kitchen. For years, it was a source of low-grade anxiety. I knew, intellectually, that it needed an overhaul. Drawers were crammed, cupboards overflowed, and finding anything felt like an archaeological dig. I’d start with good intentions – pull everything out of one drawer, stare at the chaos, feel utterly overwhelmed, and promptly stuff it all back in, perhaps slightly worse than before. Yes, I had a drawer of shame...several, in

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